We’ve all been there. You’re sitting at home, dreaming about the open road, wondering, What if I could drive to all the major landmarks in the U.S. without veering off course? Well, science has answered your wildest (and most unnecessary) question. Buckle up, folks—this is the ultimate, perfectly efficient road trip route across America.
The Plan: Who Needs Shortcuts Anyway?
Imagine this: a single, continuous road trip that hits 50 iconic landmarks in the most efficient way possible. Because clearly, 13,699 miles of driving is something every rational person wants to do, right? According to data-crunchers who have too much time and access to algorithms, this route is supposedly optimized to perfection.
The landmarks span everything from the Statue of Liberty to the Grand Canyon, and let’s not forget “exciting” stops like the Gateway Arch in St. Louis. (Because nothing screams road trip fun like staring at a giant, shiny croissant for five minutes.)
If your idea of a good time involves mapping out every gas station, fast food joint, and bathroom along the way, this is the road trip for you.
Science Says It’s Perfect, But Here’s the Reality
This “perfect” route was generated using algorithms—so basically, a robot planned it. Which makes sense, because no human with actual taste buds would plot a journey where you’re likely to live off beef jerky and questionable gas station sandwiches for weeks.
Here’s what they don’t tell you:
1. Your Spotify playlists will fail you. No amount of Lizzo or Fleetwood Mac can keep you sane on mile 9,847. Trust me.
2. Your car will hate you. Even if you’re rolling in a shiny new EV, you’ll probably need to budget for at least three new tires and a mechanic who’s also your therapist.
3. Your travel companions will never speak to you again. Because nothing tests friendships like deciding whether to stop for that “world’s largest ball of yarn.”
Highlights of the Route
Let’s break down a few key stops on this so-called perfect route, shall we?
1. Yellowstone National Park (Wyoming): Sure, it’s beautiful, but do you really want to spend an hour stuck behind a bison traffic jam?
2. The Alamo (Texas): Remember the Alamo? You will, especially after spending two hours in line to snap a selfie.
3. The Space Needle (Washington): Great views if you’re into paying $35 for an elevator ride.
4. Every random national park in Utah: Yes, they’re stunning, but do we really need five of them? Utah, share the wealth.
Is It Worth It?
Honestly, who has the PTO for this? Sure, you could take three months off, sell your soul to the oil industry for gas money, and invest in industrial-strength seat cushions. But maybe just pick a few cool landmarks and call it a day. Efficiency is overrated when you’re fighting road rage in the middle of Nebraska.
Final Thoughts: Take It or Leave It
If you’re one of those people who thinks “I love data-driven itineraries!” then this road trip is your calling. For the rest of us, maybe just book a flight to Vegas and call it an adventure.
Curious? Check out the route breakdown on Explore. And if you actually attempt this madness, please send us photos. Preferably of you crying into a truck stop coffee cup.
